Take My Hand
by blondegirl353
Summary: Modern College AU. Clarke and Lexa are roommates, will it be a year filled with awkwardness or can they learn to live with each other?
1. Chapter 1

_Hi, so this is my first attempt at writing a fic, thought I'd give it a go. Please just let me know what you think, thanks guys. Hope you enjoy!_

"Clarke, honey, this is the last of your boxes. Do you want help unpacking?" Abby Griffin huffed, slightly breathless from the strain of boxes she had carried up from the car.

"No, mom. I'd rather do it myself so I know where everything is thanks. You can go if you want, I know you've got an early shift tomorrow and it's a long drive." Clarke looked around at all her belongings, she was eager to quickly unpack so she could go find her friends, and she knew her mom would slow her down. "I'll be fine, I promise" she added, seeing her mom raise her eyebrows, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

"Okay, but call me tonight once you're settled in, behave and be sensible. Please." Abby pleaded as she walked towards her daughter to envelope her into a big hug, not wanting to leave.

"I will mom, I'll be home for the holidays before you know it." Clarke agreed, just wanting some peace. She knew her mom was sad to leave, but it was difficult for Clarke to be sympathetic, she had been so eager to be out of that house and for a fresh start away from people back home. Minus Octavia and Raven of course, they would be just down the hall from her, and she couldn't wait to go see them.

After her mom finally left, Clarke quickly unpacked her things, it didn't take her long she didn't have that much, and after putting up a few photos for the final touches to make it feel more homely she looked around and smiled. It was only then that she started to wonder about her roommate, she knew nothing of the girl other than being told she was called Lexa, that and she quite obviously hadn't arrived yet. Thinking not much else of it she decided to go see how Octavia and Raven were getting on, so grabbed her phone and keys, wandering 4 rooms down.

"Clarke!" Octavia almost sang her name, it was as if Clarke hadn't seen her for months even though it had been just yesterday.

"Enthusiastic as ever then O."

"Any chance it's not too late to switch rooms Clarke?" Raven mumbled, as she was promptly met with a pillow to the back of the head.

"Oh no, I know what you two are like, I love you guys but I would actually like some peace occasionally in my life, you're both just as bad as each other." Raven and Octavia chuckled, knowing what Clarke meant. Out of the three Clarke was the most reserved, and as much as she thrived at times off of the other two, they knew she needed her own space and privacy at times.

"Speaking of which, met your roommate yet?" Raven asked.

"Nope, she hasn't moved in yet, still a mystery."

"Want to have a walk round campus? Sun's out and we might as well get to know where we'll be living for the next few years" Octavia interrupted, clearly uninterested in the lack of news of Clarke's roommate. Clarke and Raven were quick to agree, figuring fresh air would do them all some good.

"So, met any guys you want to introduce me to yet?" Octavia questioned as they were leaving their building. Clarke turned round as she walked so Octavia could see her roll her eyes as she chuckled slightly. "You know O, I thought you might have lasted more than - ", Clarke stumbled as her back collided with what felt like a person and she fell on her ass. "Ouch!" She looked up to a girl towering over her, who gave her a glare that she was sure was the kind the phrase 'if looks could kill' came from. "Watch it, branwada!" She spat towards Clarke, and before she could even contemplate standing up and apologising the girl was already gone.

"Wow, she was…" Ocatvia started, but before she could finish Clarke cut her off, "rude… it was an accident, there was no need for her to over react and storm off" Clarke grumbled as she stood up, brushing and dirt off her pants. "What even is a branwada?"

Octavia stifled a laugh at Clarke's look of pure disgust and anger. "Who knows and who cares. Come on let's go!" encouraged Raven, knowing if they didn't Clarke would only think of it more and wind herself up.

After spending the afternoon walking around campus, Clarke was actually pretty tired. She decided to head back to her room to check in with her Mom as promised before heading down to the dining hall for some dinner, hopefully after eventually meeting her roommate.

Clarke pushed the door to her room open and there in the centre of the room was a tall, skinny and yet muscular girl stood with her back to her, dark brown hair flowing down her back, some in braids. The girl turned around obviously to find out what the disturbance was, and she did Clarke felt her stomach drop as she internally cursed when she was met once again with that piercing stare from those emerald green eyes. The other girl didn't seem to react, Clarke only saw a flash of emotion across her face as her eyes met Clarke, and it was what she could only assume to be annoyance.

Might as well try and say something this time, I am living with her for a year Clarke thought. "Hi, I'm Clarke. It's Lexa right? Look, I'm really sorry about earlier, I should have been looking where I was going."

The other girl only nodded before turning around and carrying on with her unpacking. Clarke stood there for a couple of seconds, exasperated. "Do you want to join me to grab something to eat soon, you must be hungry after all the unpacking?" Clarke tried, hoping maybe she would actually have a chance to get to know her roommate. The girl didn't even bother turning her head this time, just shook it, quite obviously uninterested in anything Clarke had to say.

Nothing, absolutely nothing to say in response, seriously? She didn't feel like staying in the room with the stony, cold silence she was currently met with, so turned on her heel and stormed back out towards Octavia and Raven's room.

"Seriously Clarke? Two minutes? You've been apart from us for two minutes and you're already waltzing back into our room, sure you couldn't share a room with us?" Octavia laughed as Clarke let herself straight into their room.

"Branwada girl." Clarke huffed.

"What? Are you still angry about that Clarke? Just drop it, it's college, you'll barely have to see her if at all, forget about it."

"I'm living with her, O. You were saying?"

"Oh." Both Octavia and Ravens mouths dropped to that new gem of information.

"So did you actually manage to say anything this time?" Raven questioned.

"Yeah, I apologised and asked if she wanted to join me to get something to eat. Nothing, she didn't say a single word, only a nod and a shake of the head. I mean really? Is it too much to ask to just have a polite conversation when you meet the person you're going to be living with for a year. Does she have no social skills? It's ridiculous, I was…"

"Clarke, breathe… You're doing your angry ramble" Raven interrupted, "look I know it's not ideal, but you've got us down the hall."

"And hey, she'll come around, everyone always does with you Clarke" Octavia added, "Did you about getting something to eat?" Which finally got Clarke to laugh.

"O, do you ever not think about food? Thanks guys, I hope she comes around, I cannot deal with living that for a year. Let's go get something to eat, I can't deal with a hungry Octavia."

"I don't think anyone can" Raven whispered, just loud enough for Octavia to hear, which Octavia didn't even bother responding to, just gave her a dirty look as she jumped up. "Come on, let's go!" As she started to drag Raven and Clarke out the room.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two months since Clarke had moved in to college and Lexa had definitely not come around, she had said less than 10 words to Clarke. All Clarke knew about the girl was she could gather from her belongings in her room. She had many law books lined up on her bookshelf, so Clarke felt she could comfortably come to the conclusion she was studying law, and she seemed to spend most of time studying. One answer Clarke had managed to get out of her was one day when Lexa had come in sweaty, evidently having just worked out, that alongside the basketball kit Clarke had seen Lexa packing away once encouraged Clarke to ask if she played for the college basketball team. Of course Clarke was only gifted with a nod before Lexa grabbed her towel and toiletries and headed out the room in the direction of the showers.

She couldn't help but notice the other girls beauty, her slim, muscular build was often highlighted by the tight, dark clothing she always seemed to wear. Clarke had actually started to wonder if Lexa owned any colourful clothes in her wardrobe. It was also those green eyes, on the few occasions Lexa did look towards Clarke she almost felt those emerald green eyes could see through to her soul.

Clarke was beginning to tire from trying to get through to the girl. She still found herself wondering what the girls' problem was and sometimes why she even bothered. Clarke had only seen her on a couple of occasions with two other girls around campus, one tall skinny and blonde, the other dark skinned with a glare that could match Lexa's upon their first meeting.

It was when Lexa stormed into their room one day muttering to herself throwing her things down in what seemed to be, to Clarke, a temper tantrum. Clarke figured she was as well try because things couldn't get much worse between them.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Clarke asked. Dumb question, and Lexa seemed to agree from the glare she directed towards Clarke. "Yeah okay, obviously something is. Anything I can help you out with?" From that, Clarke saw what she could only think was the closest thing to Lexa smiling, probably more of a smirk though, as she made some derivative snort. Lexa's way of showing Clarke she obviously thought she was superior to her.

That was it, Clarke was so sick of this girl being so unbelievably rude to her and looking down on her, she had kept it bottled up for months as she tried again and again. She knew she didn't deserve the treatment she received from her roommate but she had kept trying, but that was it. Just because this other girl, basically a stranger, had had a bad day didn't mean Clarke had to be the punching bag.

"Do you know what, there is no need to sit there all self-righteous, thinking your some sort of Queen over me. You're just the same, except you have absolutely no manners, and I'm done with it. I can't deal with your constant glares and rudeness. We're living together, just try and actually be polite, if you even know what that is. I hope whatever has got you so wound up sorts itself out, but don't take it out on me, it's not my fault, I'm only trying to help." Clarke huffed, as for once she actually met Lexa's glare which usually she hid away from. Not backing down, Clarke continued to look at Lexa, feeling as if they were in a staring competition. Eventually Lexa looked down to her lap, a flash of was it sympathy or guilt or what? Whatever it was it was a slight sheepish look, if even for only a second, and suddenly Clarke began to feel guilt for her sudden outrage towards Lexa.

Before she could begin to apologise, Lexa grabbed her bag and stormed out. Nice one, as if the living situation wasn't bad enough, at least before she could stand to be in the same room as you, Clarke internally reprimanded herself. She huffed and went back to her sketching and yet couldn't seem to focus on what she was originally drawing, so since it was no longer proving to be the relaxing activity it usually was she put her sketchpad and charcoal away and headed over to Octavia and Raven's room.

Octavia was out at class, much to Clarke's surprise for Octavia to be attending one – although Raven thought it had to do with a guy in that class called Lincoln. So Clarke and relayed the story to Raven who sat patiently listening. As soon as Clarke finished, she sighed, "I'm the worst person ever"

"Why do you say that? She's been treating you like shit for the past two months."

"Well that's a bit of an exaggeration Raven. I have no idea what was wrong with her, I shouldn't have lashed out at her like that, and I will have only made things worse for her."

Raven smirked at this point, if it was her she would be making this girls life hell. If her roommate was so rude why would she be nice in return, but Raven knew that Clarke differed to her in that sense. Raven still couldn't help but wonder what inclined her to be so nice to this girl though, it's true Clarke wouldn't be mean, but she wouldn't put it past her to just ignore this girl rather than always trying to reach out to her.

"What Raven?"

Raven knew better than to say anything though, any mention of Clarke maybe caring for this girl for whatever unbeknown reason would cause Clarke to close up and stop talking to Raven at all about it.

"Nothing, you're just so much nicer than I would be and yet you sit here berating yourself."

"I just want to be friends with who I live with, that's all, I'm sick of feeling like I'm walking on egg shells."

"Okay, how about me, you and O go out for dinner and maybe drinks tonight. You need to relax."

"Fine, but if you're trying to get me drunk so I'll _'let loose'_" as Clarke did her best impression of Octavia "then it's not happening."

Raven laughed as Clarke's impression was extremely accurate. "Just a couple of drinks, nothing more, a girl's night, okay?"

"Fine" Clarke gave in, knowing they'd convince her somehow.

Raven grinned "Great, O should be back any minute, we'll come get you when you're ready, in say half an hour?" as Clarke stood up to leave, praying her roommate wouldn't be back, she didn't want to face her just yet, she knew she needed to apologise.

"No problem, see you in a bit." Clarke confirmed as she closed the door.

She found herself relieved as she opened her door to find her room empty of her roommate. But then frowned seeing a coffee cup on her desk, she definitely hadn't put that there. She walked over to pick it up to find it was still burning hot, and she noticed written on the top was 'sorry'. It could have only been left by Lexa, and it made her feel even worse about the situation. She sighed, taking a sip from the cup before putting it down, it was her favourite drink, black coffee no sugar. Clarke shook of the confusion, it was a common drink, Lexa probably just hoped it be one Clarke would like.

She began to get ready for her plans with Octavia and Raven, changing into her favourite black jeans with a white cami. She had just finished her hair and make-up when she heard the door open. She turned around expecting to see Octavia and Raven summoning her, but when she turned saw Lexa stood there sheepishly.

Lexa took a couple a few steps forward, dropping her things on her bed, before turning towards Clarke "I'm sorry, I- " Clarke tried to cut her off, but Lexa put her hand up insinuating she wanted to continue uninterrupted. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you earlier, it wasn't your fault I was in a bad mood. I also should have been a better roommate. Can we try again? Please."

Clarke was shocked, but she couldn't help but smile, that was the most Lexa had ever said to her, and by far the nicest. "No, it was my fault, I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that, you were clearly upset, and I can't have made things any better for you. But yes, I would really like to try again, I don't think I got us off to the best start." Clarke laughed awkwardly trying to ease the tension, and it turned into a much more enthusiastic laugh when Lexa smiled. Lexa was smiling, and Clarke could not help but think how beautiful she looked in that moment.

Before either of them could say anything more there was a knocking on the door and Octavia calling outside "Clarke, you better be ready, you're not getting out of this one." Clarke rolled her eyes, and looked back towards Lexa, "I'm sorry, I've got to go, but thanks, and I guess I'll see you later?" Clarke looked hopeful, praying Lexa wouldn't close herself down again.

"Yes, I shall no doubt see you later." Giving Clarke another smile, only a small one, but Clarke couldn't help the goofy grin that took over face as she stood up to leave, grabbing her things on the way.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi guys, hope you're enjoying the story. I'm not actually completely sure where I'm going to go with this yet, I'm kind of just seeing where the story takes me. Just let me know what you think!_

"Well you've had a sudden mood change, what's got you grinning like an idiot?" Raven immediately questioned Clarke before she could even get out the door. Clarke cringed slightly, knowing Lexa would be able to hear.

"Shut up Raven" Clarke retorted, quickly trying to close the door behind her, which didn't go unnoticed by her friends. Octavia simply raised her eyebrows at Clarke, demanding an explanation. "Let's just start walking" trying to get her friends away from such close proximity to her room, she knew her door wasn't the most soundproof of things. Lexa had only just opened up and she was pretty sure she wouldn't appreciate her gossiping to her friends about it.

"So?" Octavia asked after only getting to the end of the hall, and Clarke almost found herself chuckling at her friend's impatience.

"So Lexa and I are… I don't think friends is the right word, but we talked and we are having a fresh start I guess" Clark smiled.

"Well that's good, how did that come about?"

"She apologised for earlier, as did I, and she asked if we could start again." Clarke saw her friends both with raised eyebrows, she knew what they were thinking- as she always seemed to - why that had made her so happy, "I'm just glad I might be able to get on with the person I'm living with eventually"

Both Raven and Octavia dropped it after that, and they headed towards The Ark, a restaurant they'd discovered in the first week of college, great food but not too expensive for their student budgets. They sat at a table towards the corner where it was slightly more peaceful and all ordered burgers, they were to kill for in this place.

"So O, what's this I hear about someone called Lincoln?" A grin similar to that of Clarke's from earlier quickly took over Octavia's face.

"Um, well he's in my English class. He's absolutely gorgeous, tall, muscly, his eyes are so intense and yet gentle. He's quite reserved and quiet, but everything he says just seems so… powerful and intense, like he means every word."

"You do realise everyone is quiet compared to you, O." Raven retorted.

Octavia ignored her comment, carrying on "I think there's this party this weekend that he's going to, I was going to ask you guys…"

"Oh that's it, ask us to come because of some guy, you say the sweetest things" Clarke winked at Octavia.

"Yeah, I know. So you guys will come?"

Raven quickly agreed, "You know I'm always up for a party". Clarke sighed knowing, once again she wouldn't get out of it even if she tried. "Please Clarke" Octavia begged as she flashed her puppy dog eyes, "Fine, I'll come" she relented.

"Wow, don't get too excited Clarke." Clarke laughed at that.

Once they had finished off their food they headed over to a bar just down the road. It was pretty packed for a Tuesday night, but Clarke was hardly surprised considering they were pretty relaxed on fake IDs, which of course Octavia had supplied Raven and Clarke with soon after starting at college.

"Just a couple of drinks O, and then I'm heading back"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, come on!"

They found themselves sat in a small booth towards the side five minutes later, each sat with a beer. They surveyed the crowd, looking around at those already rather drunk even though the night was still young. The music in the bar was quite loud making it difficult to keep up much conversation. After a couple of drinks Octavia dragged Clarke and Raven over to the dance floor, Clarke not at all a confident dancer, knowing she wasn't drunk enough at all for this excused herself after a few seconds to go to the toilet. She was thinking of an excuse to go home, she wasn't much of a drinker and she knew Octavia would only be encouraging her to get another beer when she went back.

That was when she saw him. Finn. It was almost as if her spotting him alerted him to her presence. He looked up directly at her, a look of pure happiness and relief almost covered his face. How could he look at her like that? After everything he had done. Clarke had to get out of there, she wasn't in the state of mind to process talking to him right now. She stormed out of the bar and headed back to her dorms, no thought towards Octavia or Raven, she was only thinking one thing at that point in time. She had to get away from him.

She was close to running down the street now, tears filling her eyes as the memories flooded back to her, how he hurt her. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she span round, as soon as she registered that it was him she flew her hand out slapping him. He looked shocked, and put his hand up to his already reddening cheek.

"Clarke, please, just hear me out. I'm so sor-"

"NO! DO NOT TOUCH ME." Clarke spat as her rage took over. "You have no right to ask that of me or follow me or even look at me. You are scum of the earth Finn." She winced slightly saying his name, it still hurt, it made her feel weak. "You lost that right when you treated me like shit. You are nothing to me now, nothing. You can't say anything to change that, you lost my respect and trust a long time ago. If you see me, turn and walk the other way. I never want to see you again." With that, Clarke span on her heel and almost ran back to her dorm, tears spilling over the edge, she couldn't control them anymore.

Clarke stumbled into her room, her sight blurry now from the tears pouring. She was angry at him, and not just him but herself also, for letting herself feel like this, for losing control over someone who didn't deserve to have any control over her.

"Clarke?" Lexa jumped out of her bed, calling Clarke out of the current daze she was in. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Even in Clarke's current state she couldn't help but wonder if that was actually concern she heard in Lexa's voice, and that warmed her a little bit. She rubbed her eyes, trying to wipe away her tears and stifle her sobs. Clarke took a tissue that she saw Lexa holding out in her direction, as she was standing somewhat awkwardly, clearly no idea what to do.

"Thank you. I'm sorry, I…" Clarke didn't know what to say, she was sure Lexa didn't want to hear about Finn. "I..." As Clarke struggled, Lexa seemed to win some internal battle she was having with herself and moved over to Clarke who was now sitting on the edge of the bed. Lexa sat next to the girl timidly, making sure to leave enough space so Clarke wouldn't feel too uncomfortable. That simple gesture, as awkward as it may have been seemed to give Clarke a little courage. "I ran into someone I didn't want to see. I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"Clarke, you are upset, do not worry about waking me up – which you didn't by the way. Would you like to talk about it or simply be left in peace?" Lexa felt nervous waiting for Clarke's reaction, even though Clarke should have no reasoning to confide in her, Lexa didn't want to be rejected by the girl, and she didn't know why.

Clarke felt Lexa was being genuine with her offer of talking to Clarke, and Clarke felt almost as if she cared why she was upset. She knew she wanted to let it off her chest, so decided to give it a shot. "I wouldn't mind talking about it, but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, so you don't have-"

"Clarke, just talk to me" Lexa interrupted, her voice firm and commanding and it made Clarke feel like she wanted to obey, and yet Lexa's voice was soft all at the same time. She gave Lexa a small smile, hoping she would understand it was her way of thanking her.

"Well… I ran into my ex, and the last time I saw him, well… it was when I left him because he had just…" Clarke began to stumble over her words, she always struggled when she had told people of this. Those people only being Raven and Octavia, but still. She felt Lexa shuffle closer slightly, putting her hand on Clarke's shoulder to comfort her, encouraging her to finish her words. "He… he beat me" She felt Lexa tense up beside her, Lexa moving her hand from her shoulder to wrap her whole arm round the girl. Lexa knew Clarke needed comfort right now, to feel safe, and Lexa would try to do that. She saw the blondes blue orbs welling up once again, and gave her a slight squeeze.

Lexa found herself speechless, not that she was one to talk much anyway, but she wanted to somehow comfort Clarke with words, and yet she could not find the right ones. Before she could try she found Clarke talking once again.

"It's not as if I'm weak, it's just, he turned into a monster, he was drunk and out of control, I couldn't defend myself" Clarke didn't know why she'd felt the need to say that, why she didn't want Lexa to look at her as if she was weak. Maybe it was because she already felt weak enough having stormed into their room crying her eyes out, that had to be it. "As soon as he seemed to calm down slightly he seemed to realize what he had done. But I didn't care, I could only see him as the monster he had become in that moment. When I could summon enough strength, I ran out of there, shouting at him that we were over, and well… I've never seen him since, that was nearly a year ago now. I thought I was past it, but seeing him again, it just… it brought it all back to me, made me feel all the pain again."

Lexa was disgusted that Clarke could have been treated that way by another human being, she was angry for Clarke at someone she didn't even know. "You are not weak Clarke, believe that. Scars never completely go, although they do fade over time, whether that be emotionally or physically."

Even though Lexa said little on the matter it comforted Clarke somehow. But she now felt a wave of exhaustion running over her, the events of the night having worn her down and she let out a small yawn.

"You should go to bed, rest, it will all feel slightly better in the morning." Lexa told Clarke moving back over to her own bed. Clarke simply nodded, missing the contact around her shoulders. She stood up to quickly slip into her pyjamas before climbing in to her own bed, where despite the emotions running wild in her head she quickly found herself in a deep slumber. Lexa, sat and watched for a few minutes when Clarke had fallen asleep, concerned for the girl she had barely spoken to just 24 hours before.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke woke the next day to a light tapping on her room door. She rolled out of bed and moved to answer the door when she noticed Lexa was already on her way. Clarke was surprised slightly that Lexa was even still in when she woke, usually she was long gone. As she waited to see who it was she gave herself a once over in the mirror, and noticed the slight puffiness of her eyes as if she had been crying before going to sleep. That was when it all came back to her. Last night. Finn.

She groaned slightly but before she had anytime to begin to process it, Lexa had opened the door and there was Octavia.

"Clarke! You're alright! I've been worried, you disappeared last night and you haven't been answering your phone. What happened to you?"

"Um…" Clarke was about to tell her but then she thought about Octavia's reaction. She knew she would go absolutely mad and start shouting about how she was going to find him and show him a piece of her mind. Octavia had always wanted pay back for Clarke, however Clarke never wanted that, she didn't even want to think about him, she just wanted him out of her life, for good. She didn't like lying to her friend, but it was the easiest thing to do. She glanced at Lexa, hoping she wouldn't give her away, but all she saw was concern in Lexa's eyes. "Oh, you knew I only wanted to stay for a couple of drinks O. I'm sorry I should have come and told you I was leaving, I was tired and I didn't want to ruin yours and Raven's night." She saw a flash of confusion cross Lexa's face, but it was gone quickly as she had seen it as Lexa moved back to her bed to try and give the two girls some privacy.

"Ruin our night? Course you wouldn't have. But I'm glad you're okay, don't worry me like that again." Clarke was glad Octavia hadn't seemed to have noticed the puffiness of her eyes, evidence of her tears from the previous night.

"Sorry, I won't, I promise." Clarke tried to give her friend a reassuring smile.

"Well, I better go let Raven know you're okay before she sends out a search party or something. And check your phone, you've probably got a million missed calls from us." Octavia gave her friend a quick hug, glad she was okay before rushing back towards her room, no doubt to reassure Raven.

Clarke went to grab her phone which was still in her jacket pocket from the night before. Dead battery, great she thought as she moved to plug it into her charger by her desk. As she turned back round she saw Lexa looking at her curiously, but it was evident Lexa felt bad for staring, quickly turning her eyes back down towards the books surrounding her.

"Thank you for last night. It meant a lot." Clarke wasn't sure to go about this, she still felt slightly awkward around Lexa, constantly unsure as to how she would react.

Lexa returned a small smile "It's no problem."

"I didn't want to lie to Octavia, by the way."

"Okay."

Clarke just sighed, she felt she needed to explain to Lexa and yet as she tried, Lexa goes back to that stone, cold stranger.

Lexa heard Clarke sigh and began to feel guilty, she didn't mean to upset Clarke. She just didn't know what to say, she wasn't good in these situations. "Do you want to talk about it?" she offered, trying to keep it simple and make Clarke understand she did want to listen.

That was all Clarke needed apparently to open up, "Well I know how Octavia would react, it would be like sending a blood hound after a scent. She would want to find Finn, and I don't even know what she would do, but it would be easier if she didn't know. I feel bad, I just… I don't know"

"Easier for who?" Clarke frowned in confusion slightly at that. "You said it would be easier if she didn't know, I was just wondering easier for who?" She couldn't help but wonder if Clarke still had feelings for this Finn, even after everything he had done.

"Me. Why, who else would it be easier for?"

Lexa cursed herself slightly for asking the question in the first place, but there was no way she could avoid it now. "Well, I was just wondering if maybe you were trying to protect Finn. I'm sorry, it was stupid, and it's not my place." Lexa looked at Clarke apologetically.

Clarke couldn't help but scoff at Lexa's comment. "That the last thing I would want to do. I just don't want to deal with it all."

"Maybe you need to face your fears to be able to move past them."

Clarke sighed, she knew Lexa was right really, but she'd been living in this denial for so long now, and it had worked. "I have moved past it."

"Clarke, I hear your nightmares." Lexa regretted saying it as soon as it came out of her mouth. Clarke's eyes widened in shock, she had never thought what her roommate might hear from her as she tossed and turned at night, how stupid of her. "I'm sorry Clarke, I shouldn't have said… You don't need to explain."

Clarke was worried now, she wasn't sure what Lexa had heard, she didn't know how much Lexa knew. She knew Lexa knew what she had told her last night, but what did she say in her nightmares, had she mentioned anything about… She had to ask, she had to know.

"What have you heard?" Clarke was shaking slightly and it showed in her voice, she croaked slightly as she said it, her voice weak.

Lexa didn't know what to do, she wasn't quite sure what the meaning was of what she had heard, but she felt it was more than Clarke had let on from the reaction she had just witnessed. As much as she didn't want to have this conversation and was wishing she could take the words back, she knew she owed it to Clarke to be honest. "There's never any full sentences, it's just mumbled words and noises here and there."

"Lexa, what do I say?" Clarke's voice was firmer this time, more demanding.

"Umm… You often seem to cry slightly, and then usually wanting someone to get off you, to stop touching you and that… that it hurts. I can't even tell what you're saying half the time." Lexa rarely stumbled over her words, but she couldn't feel much more awkward right now. She felt as if she was invading something so personal and private, as if she had no right to hear what Clarke said at night, never mind repeating it back to her.

Clarke took a deep breath, she didn't know where to go from here. Lexa could have just interpreted it as what she had confided in her the previous night, but Clarke knew her reaction would have been perceived as an overreaction considering she had already taken the choice in confiding in the other girl. She could tell Lexa didn't understand from the confusion that marred her face.

"I'm really sorry Clarke, again. I shouldn't have said anything. It's private, you can't help what I hear whilst you sleep. Just, you don't have to explain if you don't want to, I'm sorry." Clarke didn't think she could have ever imagined Lexa to ever look like this, she sat on the edge her bed with her shoulders hunched slightly, eyes full of emotions her face barely portrayed. It was the most emotion Clarke had ever seen from Lexa, and she oddly somehow felt comfortable with it all.

"No, it's fine. I shouldn't have reacted like that, I should have known. Thank you for being honest though, it means a lot. I wasn't completely honest with you myself last night. I'm sorry, I don't know why." Clarke paused, gauging Lexa's reaction before continuing, she looked slightly more relaxed, but only slightly at the realisation and relief that Clarke wasn't angry with her.

"Clarke, you don't need to apologise and please don't feel that you have to explain." This is what felt odd to Clarke, she didn't feel she had to, she wanted to, she rarely wanted to, this didn't make sense to her. Yet she didn't want to question it because of the simple comfort and ease she currently felt in Lexa's presence.

"I want to Lexa. I…" Lexa stood at this point, and moved over to Clarke, putting herself in the position she had been last night, wrapping her arm round Clarke's shoulders. She was glad Clarke was confiding in her, she just wanted to make her feel comfortable, she could tell this was difficult for the girl. "The night I said Finn beat me," Clarke took a deep breath, ordering what she was about to say, so that it made sense. "We had been together for a while at this point, but I had wanted to take things slow." She looked at Lexa for confirmation that she understood what she was saying, and instantly Lexa gave her a simple nod, as if she could read Clarke's mind. "I guess I was never really sure about him, but I was going through a rough time and so his company took my mind off… off other things." Lexa was unsure whether to ask Clarke about these 'other things' but she did not want to interrupt the girl who was quite clearly focusing on what she was saying. "Well, that night that he beat me, that wasn't all that happened" Clarke once again took a deep breath, preparing herself "he also… he… he forced himself on me." Clarke's eyes were already welling with tears by this point, and now they started to overflow. "He pinned me down accusing me of being frigid, and he forced himself, in… inside of me." Her body shook with soft sobs, and Lexa took one of Clarke's hand in her free one, and pulled her in closer. "There was nothing I could do Lexa, I… I tried, but he was stronger than me, and he was..."

"Ssshhh, you don't need to explain to me Clarke." Lexa rolled her thumb over Clarke's hand as Clarke sobbed into her shoulder.

They stayed there for a while, both lost track of time, Clarke letting her emotions take control once again, letting it all out. Lexa herself had so many emotions running through her by this point, mostly sadness for the girl sat next to her, she couldn't understand how anyone would want to hurt her. Lexa had so much anger, so much more intense than before, she was in the same position as Clarke had explained Octavia to be, wanting to hunt the boy down. She knew she couldn't let these show to Clarke, they would only make her feel worse than she already did, and so she kept quiet whilst she tried to comfort the girl, gently rubbing her shoulder comfortingly.

These emotions confused her, she didn't understand how a girl she had known for so little time, and only actually opened up to yesterday had already taken such a strong hold on her. It was not like Lexa to sit and comfort someone, it usually made her feel uncomfortable and awkward. Yet here she was, wanting nothing more than to take the blonde's pain away. She knew there was something special about this girl, she had captured her attention for the past couple of months even if she hadn't let on. She couldn't let on, it wasn't like her to let people in, it made her weak, and yet here she was…

After a while, neither knew how long since they had both been lost in thought and emotions, Clarke pulled away slightly. "Thank you" she whispered. Lexa simply gave Clarke a small smile and a tight squeeze, before moving her arms away slightly, giving Clarke a bit more freedom to move.

Clarke oddly felt better after confiding in Lexa, the whole truth this time, as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She moved to straighten up a bit, she knew she must look a state, and wanted to shower to make herself feel clean. Thinking about it always made her feel dirty, bringing all those memories back. "I'm going to grab a shower, I need to… refresh myself." Lexa nodded and eventually completely unwrapped her arms from around Clarke, before standing to move towards her bed.

Clarke went to collect her towel and toiletries and headed towards the door before the sound of Lexa's voice stopped her. "Do you want to grab something to eat after?" The question surprised Clarke, it was rare for Lexa to prompt conversation, never mind a whole social situation for an extended period of time. "I mean, only if you want to" Lexa added. Clarke realised Lexa must be nervous waiting for Clarke's response, it must be uncommon for Lexa to reach out to someone like this. Clarke turned and smiled warmly towards Lexa, "Yes, I'd like that, that would be nice." She answered, before turning back to head towards the shower.

_I know the Raven, Clarke, Finn storyline is a major one in the show, but I felt I wanted something different from my fic, otherwise we'll end up with too many similar ones out there. I did actually like Finn, but making him out to be a nice guy was not going to work. So yes, please just let me know what you think, all opinions welcome!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews so far, it's always a boost in confidence! Hope you enjoy._

"So, how are things with Lexa?"

Clarke was sat in Raven and Octavia's room about to go for lunch with Lexa, for the second time that week. Since Clarke had confided in Lexa three days ago it had been a much more comfortable living situation, and not only that, but they had become friends. Rather than just formalities being thrown between them, they actually spoke whilst in their room, they chatted.

"Yeah, they're good actually. I feel maybe I judged her before I knew her in a way. All those times I called her a jerk…" Clarke chuckled at all the phrases she had thrown about when she had been frustrated at the other girl's silence. "She's just reserved at times I guess."

"So, you guys are friends now right?" Raven asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah, why?"

Raven and Octavia had commented between the two of them how happy Clarke had been over this new development of friendship. They understood that it was nice for her to get on with who she lived with, but they knew there was something more to it than that. Even if she wasn't ready to admit it yet, so they knew best not to mention this to Clarke. "Oh, just wondering, maybe you should invite her that party Octavia was on about that's tomorrow. God knows she could do with letting loose a little."

"Raven." Clarke reprimanded the girl, but she couldn't help but think it could be a good idea. Clarke herself thought Lexa could do with a break, she was always working whether it be for school or basketball. "Maybe I will." She agreed after a little thought. "Speaking of Lexa, I should go, she is probably waiting for me." Clarke jumped up, "I'll see you guys later." She added before leaving their room.

When Clarke entered her room, Lexa was still sat at her desk working away. Clarke wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't even moved since she had left over two hours before. "Hey, Lexa. You still up for lunch?"

"Oh, Clarke! Sorry, I completely lost track of time, but yes, just give me a minute?" Clarke nodded, as Lexa moved to quickly change her top, since she had previously been lounging about in one of her spare basketball tops. As soon as Lexa lifted the vest over her shoulders Clarke couldn't help but be captivated by Lexa's body, those toned abs were something else. Clarke knew Lexa was in shape, obviously, but wow. It had Clarke wondering why she hadn't noticed this before, but thinking back she oddly didn't think she'd ever seen Lexa changing so openly in their room before. The sound of Lexa clearing her voice brought Clarke back to reality, realizing she had been caught staring. She quickly turned away, blushing, mumbling an apology. "Come on Clarke, let's go." Lexa held the door open for the girl, a slight smirk playing at the corner of her lips.

They didn't say much as they wandered down to the local café, TonDC, comfortable with the silence. After being seated by a waiter, Clarke saw a little annoyance in Lexa's face that she wasn't making an effort to hide. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Lexa."

She sighed, knowing she wasn't going to win this battle, but knew she had to word what she was about to say carefully. "That waiter was checking you out that's all, it's rude, you're not a piece of meat."

Clarke smirked, glad to see Lexa care for her. Lexa misinterpreted this though as Clarke appreciating that the waiter found her attractive, "Unless you return the feelings of course." trying to cover up. Clarke couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?" Lexa frowned, confused by all of it.

"I don't return the feelings, and thanks" Clarke smiled at Lexa "you're my knight in shining armour." She added with a small laugh, knowing that would get her a smile from Lexa, which of course she wasn't wrong about, as Lexa's lips turned upwards at the corners slightly.

"So, what had you so focused that you lost track of time earlier?" Clarke questioned, changing the topic of conversation.

Lexa sighed, "Some stupid compulsory biology class. You know the other day when I came in slightly… angry" she looked slightly ashamed as she looked to Clarke for confirmation.

That had Clarke laughing again, "Slightly?"

"Um… well yes, I guess you could say more than slightly."

"I'm sorry, please go on."

"I failed some test in this biology class. I have this paper to write to make up the credits, but of course I have no idea what I'm writing about. It's driving me mad, and if I don't do well I risk not being able to play for the basketball team."

"Lexa?"

"Yes."

"You know you're living with a premed student right?"

"Yes." Clarke waited, giving Lexa a few seconds to clock on. "Oh, yes." Lexa smiled realizing eventually what Clarke was saying. "You'd help me?"

"Of course, all you have to do is ask."

"Clarke, would you please help me with my biology paper?" Lexa asked trying to give Clarke her best puppy dog eyes. Clarke couldn't help but notice how cute Lexa looked in this moment, and if she didn't want to help this girl, she wouldn't have even been able to say no.

"Of course Lexa." She agreed, grinning. "After we've finished lunch I'll have a look at it?"

"Yes, thanks, that would be great!"

"You work too much you know."

"I've got to do well in class to play basketball," Lexa replied frowning, she knew she worked a lot but she wanted to play basketball and she did want to do well in college.

"I know, I know. I just mean sometimes you have to relax and have a break. Let your body unwind."

"I'm relaxing now." Lexa smiled which Clarke quickly returned. "Where are you going with this?"

"I mean more than just a lunch. There's this party tomorrow, Octavia's dragging me and Raven along cause of some guy Lincoln." Lexa laughed at this point, Clarke didn't understand what was so funny. "What?"

"Lincoln Green?"

"Yeah, how do you know him?"

"I know him from back home, we've been friends since middle school. Lincoln and Octavia ey?" Lexa raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, but oh please don't say anything to Lincoln, I think O might kill me." Clarke panicked slightly, she didn't want to interfere with Octavia's love life, knowing her she probably already had a whole plan set out.

"No, I won't. I can imagine them together actually." She then laughed "Octavia probably needs someone quieter like Lincoln to balance it out." That had Clarke laughing as well.

"Tell me about it. So, are you going to come?" Returning the conversation to the original topic that they had side-tracked off of.

Lexa's brows furrowed slightly as she thought about it. "Yeah I guess, if Lincoln's there then I will probably know a few other people."

Clarke mocked insult, "My company isn't enough?"

"Obviously not," Lexa smirked so that Clarke would know she was joking.

Their meals then arrived and they ate whilst making simple small chat before heading back to work on Lexa's paper together.

"Are you ready?" Clarke had just finished touching up her hair, she'd chosen to wear some black pants with a blue crop top that matched the colour of her eyes. She turned to see Lexa also in tight black pants but with a white top that hugged all her curves perfectly, she looked amazing. Clarke quickly shook herself out her daze, not wanting to be caught staring for the second time in two days.

"Yes, are we heading over with Octavia and Raven?" Clarke didn't even need to answer as just then there was a knocking on the door.

They all walked over to the party which was just across campus at one of the frat houses. The party was already in full flow with some people stumbling around outside. They let themselves in and took a moment to process all the people around. They headed through to a room which seemed to be the centre of the party with huge speakers set up in the corner and a table laden with alcohol to the side. They walked over and each grabbed cups before filling them with beer from the kegs on the floor by the table.

"Shall we go find somewhere to sit?" Clarke asked, prompting them to head through to a nearby room which would be a bit quieter.

They all sat down on a couple of sofas in the next room, commenting on the people around them.

"Got your eye out for someone O?" Clarke teased her friend as she saw her glancing round for the fifth time in the past couple of minutes.

"Shut up." Octavia retorted, glaring at her friend. As if just by discussing Lincoln she had summoned him Octavia felt a light tap on her shoulder and turned round to see him stood behind her. "Lincoln! Hi, I'm glad to see you." She smiled which Lincoln returned.

"And me, you." Lincoln looked over to Lexa evidently surprised. "Lexa, I didn't expect to see you here." He walked over and they shook each other's hands by the forearm.

"Clarke dragged me along." She smirked in Clarke's direction to which Clarke didn't bother responding, only rolled her eyes.

After about an hour Octavia had disappeared off with Lincoln, and Raven with someone in her engineering class called Wick. Leaving only Clarke and Lexa sat on the sofa in the room with people milling about around them.

"I'm going to pop to the toilet? You going to be alright?" Lexa asked the girl sat next to her. Clarke laughed.

"Yes Lexa, I'm sure I can cope by myself. My friends are only in the next room, don't worry about me."

A few minutes after Lexa had left, a guy walked over to her and sat in the vacant seat next to her. "Hi, I'm Murphy. I think we have some classes together?" Clarke thought she recognised the boy, and smiled in return to him.

"Hi, yes I think we do, I'm Clarke." She shook his hand exchanging pleasantries.

"Can I get you a drink?" Clarke looked down at her empty cup, she had already had a few beers and was starting to feel wavy, but she thought it would be nice to make friends with the boy in her classes and didn't want to seem rude.

"Yes please, that would be great!" He took her cup and jumped up.

"I'll be back in a minute." It didn't take him long to return, but this time he returned with a drink that definitely didn't look like the beer she had been drinking before. "Here you go, it's the punch, it tastes so much better than the beer you were drinking before. I promise." Clarke took the cup from the boy and decided to give it a taste, and he was right, this was delicious. She wondered slightly where Lexa was but knew it would be rude to leave the boy and Lexa had mentioned about her friends coming as well so just figured she was caught up with them.

They sat there for a while exchanging small talk, and before Clarke knew it she had finished her drink, which didn't take long since it flowed down so easily. Murphy noticed and so took her cup promising her a refill. She didn't think one more would hurt so sat waiting patiently for him. They continued their conversation and before Clarke knew it the room was spinning and the cup in her hand was empty once again.

She sat back taking a deep breath, and felt Murphy's hand on her leg. She went to move his hand away politely, but before she had time she saw Lexa in front of her punching Murphy. It was one hell of a right hook and it quickly got the boy to back away.

"Let's go." She felt Lexa's hand grabbing her own, pulling her up before she had a chance to even answer. Lexa dragged her towards the exit and didn't stop walking until they were 200m or so away from the house where the party was being held. "Pass me your phone, I need to let Octavia and Raven know you're okay so they don't worry." Clarke handed her phone over without argument. Standing up had made the intensity of the feeling the alcohol had on her much stronger.

"Why are you so serious Lexa?" Clarke slurred. Lexa looked at her frowning, worried about the girl's lack of ability to speak properly. Lexa had never been one to drink much, always liking to be in control of her body and mind. Clarke obviously didn't like the girl's lack of answer, "Lexa? Lexyyy? Can I call you that, it sounds like sexyyy." Clarke giggled, obviously finding herself very funny.

"Come on Clarke, let's get you back. Do you need help or can you walk by yourself?" Clarke didn't like the idea of her independence being taken away from her and instantly started to walk by herself, only in the wrong direction. "Clarke?"

This at least got the girl's attention so she turned towards Lexa, "We live this way. She pointed in the opposite direction to where Clarke was walking." Clarke turned on her heel without saying anything, pouting slightly at being wrong. How adorable Lexa thought, even stubborn as anything when she's drunk. Clarke stumbled along with Lexa by her side for a few metres, before tripping over her own feet and face planting.

"Clarke are you alright?" Lexa questioned quickly bending down to Clarke's side.

"Ouchieeee!" Clarke giggled.

"That's it" Lexa pulled Clarke up smoothly, lifting her onto her back with ease. "Clarke wrap your arms round my neck and your legs round my waist." Clarke did as she was told surprisingly promptly, but it didn't take long for her to find the position amusing.

"Giddeee up horseyyyy!" Clarke squeezed her legs which were wrapped around Lexa's waist tighter for a second as if to imitate riding a horse. Lexa sighed and began walking back towards their dorm thinking the best thing to do would just to get Clarke back as soon as possible.

After what seemed like the longest walk across campus Lexa eventually reached their room and placed Clarke down so that she was leaning against the wall as Lexa unlocked the door. She held the door open for Clarke figuring the girl should at least be able to make it to her bed. Clarke stumbled in before kneeing her bed, once again falling to a heap on the floor. Lexa moved over, lifting Clarke up so that she was sat on the edge of the bed and slid her shoes off her feet. She lifted the girl's legs up, swinging her round, which caused her to fall back so she was lying down. Lexa grabbed one of her blankets placing it over Clarke, before moving over to her own bed to get into her pyjamas.

"Lexaaaa."

"Yes Clarke?" She was stood there in her pyjama shorts and bra, finding a t-shirt to put on.

"You're hot. Likeee reallllyyy reallllyyy hot."

"Thank you Clarke, but you're drunk."

Clarke scowled at Lexa. "I thought the same when I wasn't drunk." Clarke's scowl turned quickly to a smirk, obviously by her thoughts. "You should go topless more often. I like it."

Lexa didn't know how to respond to this, she liked the girl's compliments but also knew the girl was drunk and didn't have a clue what she was saying. "Thanks Clarke. Let's get some sleep." She quickly put a top on before she could attract any more comments. Clarke seemed to think the idea of sleep was a good one closing her eyes after a few seconds. It was only a minute later she heard Clarke's breathe deepening as she fell into her slumber. Lexa led there mulling over what Clarke had said, she didn't know what to think of it all.

Clarke groaned as she awoke the next day, a heavy pounding in her head. She led there not moving for a few moments, processing the events of the night before and how she got so drunk. Beer, Murphy and that punch, and Lexa taking her home. Lexa taking her home, oh god. She winced internally as she remembered everything she had said the night before, what an idiot.

"Morning sleepyhead." Lexa's voice took her away from her thoughts and she shot up, groaning again as the pain in her head escalated from her rapid movement. "Not feeling too great?" Lexa chuckled as all she got in response was a glare. "There's water and aspirin next to you, it will definitely help." That earned Lexa a small smile and a thanks.

Okay, Clarke thought. So Lexa isn't acting too weird. But she should apologise. Maybe after she'd showered, she could at least put it off for a bit, when she would be in a more able state to consider a conversation. She rolled out of bed after taking the two tablets that were left by her bed and she collected her towel and toiletries dragging herself towards the showers.

When she returned she already felt much better, the aspirin was already starting to take an effect, and she felt a lot cleaner and fresher after taking a shower. Lexa hadn't moved from desk and didn't move at all when Clarke came back in, and sat on the edge of her bed. She had thought about it during her shower, she knew she felt more than normal friendship towards Lexa and she was attracted to her. She just didn't know if this was a good idea, but the fact that Lexa hadn't freaked out and was still talking to her this morning gave her confidence.

"Lexa?"

"Yes." Lexa swivelled round in her chair so she could look at Clarke.

"About last night, I'm sorry if I made you feel awkward." Lexa smirks at what Clarke says, clearly amused.

"So you remember? I was wondering if you would. I'm sorry about leaving you for so long by the way, I got distracted by my friend Anya, and you had said about Octavia and Raven being in the room next to you. I should have come and check on you."

"Oh don't worry about any of that, you're not my keeper. And I kind of wish I didn't remember last night, it would save me this embarrassment right now." Clarke's cheeks flushed slightly, and Lexa liked the reaction she gained from mocking her. Lexa stood up from her awkward position of sitting half backwards in her chair, and moved over to sit on Clarke's bed.

"So, you're sorry you made me feel awkward?"

"Yes."

"You're not sorry for what you said?"

Clarke's eyed widened at that, she didn't expect Lexa to be so forward. "Well um… I guess, I don't know, I…"

Lexa began laughing again, "Clarke what you said, it was very flattering thank you."

"I meant it." This time it was Lexa who was surprised and she didn't know how to react. This was what she wanted last night, she had wanted Clarke to mean it, but she just couldn't have been sure in Clarke's intoxicated state. Lexa figured the best thing to do was be honest, and that's how she felt she wanted to be around Clarke. Before she knew what she was doing the words were coming out of her mouth, "I'm glad."

Clarke smiled, and Lexa grinned back, a toothy grin, Clarke's favourite. Clarke glanced down at Lexa's grin and back up to the girls eyes, those piercing green eyes which made her feel like they could see right through her. Clarke couldn't help herself in that moment, she leant forward gradually, closing the gap between the two of them, looking back down to those lips. Lexa waited, her breath deepening, allowing Clarke to move towards her, allowing Clarke to cup her hands around Lexa's face.

Lexa's lips were soft when Clarke met them, and there was no resistance. The kiss was slow and tender, sensual almost. It didn't take long for one of Lexa's hands to find Clarke's waist as the other reached up to rest on the back of her neck. Clarke's tongue reached out to run along Lexa's lower lip, begging for entrance which she quickly allowed. The kiss soon escalated, their tongues fighting for dominance.

As quick as it had started, it ended. Lexa jumped of the bed mumbling incoherent words before running out the room. Clarke found herself sat alone on her bed lost and confused, the only evidence of what had just happened being the tingling that was left in her lips.

_Hey guys, please follow, fav and review it would mean a lot. Thanks!_


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